Hey I'm doing something right now...If you miss me press 1, if you love me press 2, if you hate...well f**k you!!!
I lost my teddy bear ... can I sleep with you?
Mountain can fly,river can dry you can forget me but never can i
I've lost my mind~out to go find it
They say I have A.D.D. they just don't understand... Oh look a squirrel!
Not the sharpest crayon in the tool shed are we? oh wait...
Time is never wasted when your wasted all the time!?
567.. 568.. 569.. Can't talk until I finish my pushups 570.. 571..
BRB, I am taking care of business
Screw Snapple I'm the best stuff on earth
Sorry, I'm on the phone because I obviously have a life.
I am currently alphabetizing my M&M's....I'll get back with you when I am done
Maybe I'm not here. Maybe I am here, and I'm just waiting to see what you type when you think I'm gone. Maybe this whole away message is just a cruel mind game. Maybe not
I fell out of my chair. This might take a while....
I'm on the phone talking about YOU!
Hey I am on the phone with my boyfriend who is obviously more important than you are! Just kidding! Leave me a message and I will IM ya back!!!!
Please insert 25 cents and your message will go through.
Life is short...Party naked!!!
School's out and I couldnt be more happy because I won't have to see your ugly face till September!
Just a quick apology for you haveing to have a one-sided conversation with my computer.
Well, I'm not here. Do you think you can handle it
Out of my mind, be back in 5 minutes.
We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.
I'm trick or treating on the highway in a deer costume. Be right back.
No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem - It's Summertime
Spring is here so I'm outside picking flowers and seeing if someone really loves me...
404 error: Cannot locate (your SN), please try again in 5 minutes, or 10 minutes, or 30 sorry for whatever inconvienence this may have caused.
Can't You see my Do Not Disturb sign? It says Do Not Disturb, but since now that you've disturbed a disturbing person your never going to want to disturb me again.
If you're not wasted, the day is!
I see stupid people reading my away message...
Damn, I've fallen into the fourth dimension again. Be back later
Do you realize that by reading this message you've just wasted 14 seconds of your life?
Do you know what? No I suppose you don't. I'll introduce him to you sometime when I'm bored. However, right now I'm not bored because I'm not here so leave one.
HA HA I'm gone and you are sitting around reading away messages!
jeez! why do you even read these things?
I am busy, you're an idiot, have a nice day!
I'm never wrong. Once, I thought I was, but I was mistaken.
Only in America do they have Braille on drive-thru ATM machines.
Only in America do banks leave both doors open and chain pens to the counter.
Now I lay me down to sleep with an empty bottle of vodka at my feet if I die before I wake tell my girls I drank it straght.
Today's word of the day is legs. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Drink what you will. Drink what you like. If you drinking with me you'll be under the table tonight. OUT DRINKING!
If you think I just wait around my room all day waiting for messages then you would be right, but that's not the point...leave a message!
Hi I'm not here right now but if you want to get your lazy but up and use the modern invention called the telephone, Call me or give me one little sms
As you noticed from the post-it note by my name, I'm away. So why are you reading this if you already know??
A message a day, keeps me away...
I'm trying to break the world record of how many messages I can receive while being away.
